In Defense of Racism

Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world without racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, islamaphobia, misogyny, xenophobia, and bigotry?

No!

While seeking to put an end to racism and other isms and phobias (which I will collectively refer to as “racismism” from here on out) may be benevolent in intent, the end result would be disastrous. And we must assess ideas and policies based on what they would bring about, not on what they are intended to bring about. For example, while buying your grandmother a pack of komodo dragons to keep her safe seems thoughtful, komodo dragons are gigantic, venomous, carnivorous beasts with a history of man-eating, and your grandmother would be an easy meal for them. Also, komodo dragons are lizards, and lizards cannot be tamed like dogs. I’ve attempted to train geckos, Gila monsters, salamanders (which, though similar to lizards in resemblance, are actually amphibians), and skinks with essentially zero success (my skink learned to run away from a car lighter I used to burn it with, but I’m not really sure whether or not that constitutes training). Komodo dragons would likely present an even greater challenge due to their size, strength, and inherent brutality.

Putting an end to racismism is similar in intent to bartering with an Indonesian poacher for a collection of the world’s largest lizards to guard your granny, but would have dire consequences that do not pass a simple cost-benefit evaluation, much like the aforementioned reptilian protection unit.

Before discussing the steep cost of ending racismism, let’s take a look at the meager benefits that would accrue if we did:

  • People who suffer due to racismism would cease from suffering
  • Those who feel apprehensive about pursuing their life’s goals because of racismism would be more comfortable following their dreams
  • Citizens could spend their time, energy, and attention on solving problems associated with health, science, finance, education, relationships, mental stability, international conflicts, and more instead of on racismism
  • People would view each other as equals and judge others based exclusively on the content of their character
  • Laws and regulations would be applied to individuals irrespective of their differences as Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamed about

Sure, these benefits are mild at best and unlikely to garner much enthusiasm. But some may be fooled into thinking they would be a solid tradeoff in exchange for ending racismism. Do not be fooled yourself! For the cost of ending racismism will have you counting your blessings that racismism is here to stay!

If racismism ended tomorrow, what would Al Sharpton do? What about Shaun King? Ana Kasparian?

You see, these, and as I will soon show, millions of other individuals are completely dependent upon racismism for both sentimental and economic reasons. And if racismism were to disappear, so would the crusades and livelihoods of countless human beings.

Let’s begin in a realm of society that benefits from racismism more than almost any other: the higher education business.

“Area, ethnic, cultural, gender and group studies” professors at universities make a median salary of $100,000 per year, within the top 17% of earners in America. The median salary for assistant professors, new assistant professors, and associate professors in the same fields are $65K, $62K, and $78K respectively.

These salaries are more than 150% higher than the national per capita income of around $40,000 per year for full-time workers in America.

Consider this: there are at least 437 gender studies programs at four-year universities in the United States. There are also at least 63 ethnic studies programs. Together, these come to a nice and round 500 departments. If we make the modest assumption that each of these departments has an average of at least one professor, one assistant professor, and one associate professor, we can see that we are talking about a hundred-million dollar industry here. This is not chump change, and thousands of people, if not tens or hundreds of thousands, are suckling at the teat of racismism at our universities with affluent results to show for it.

And what about those who exploit racismism within our media? The following individuals have achieved the American Dream by capitalizing on racismism, sometimes entering the top 1% of household wealth:

Ana Sarkeesian-$300,000

Shaun King-$500,000

Marc Lamont Hill-$1 million

Ana Kasparian-$2 million

Tariq Nasheed-$2.5 million

Margeret Cho-$3 million

Trevor Noah-$3 million

Al Sharpton-$5 million

Cenk Uygar-$10 million

Jesse Jackson-$10 million

Lena Dunham-$12 million

Rachel Maddow-$20 million

What would “studies” professors teach if racismism were no more? Engineering, computer science, medicine, economics, business administration, and other 21st Century skills our future is dependent upon? That sounds too hard to me. And, I’m sorry, but no one is going to pay Rachel Maddow a salary on par with Adrian Peterson’s to rant about traffic and weather. The economic hit these individuals would suffer if racismism ended would be staggering.

Last but not least, think of the nameless, faceless, powerless individuals who justify their existence by harping and braying about racismism. If it weren’t for racismism, these people would be forced to put their energy to good use, grow in character and achievement, and accept reality for what it truly is. And if the massive sums of money that would be lost without racismism are not enough to convince you to vouch for its persistence, consider the excuses and crusades so many lives are dependent upon that would evaporate alongside racismism should it be expelled from our society.

Don’t call for racismism to end. Don’t feed your grandmother to a pack of Komodo dragons. And God bless the United States of America.

In Defense of Racism

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